157_Chapter Three – Day 3

I come back to myself to find Amber is sitting up now. She is watching me, still cautious and curious. She does not yet trust me, but she is calmer now, more centered. I see her water is gone. It has helped. Though she is disheveled and a little worse for wear, overall, she is better.

I look at her for a moment, gaining my ground. Then, I speak first, “Maybe we could talk for a bit, and then take our turns showering in the falls. If you like, you could go first while I get food.”

“I don’t like leaving the cave.” I can see she is beginning to feel safe here, unlike being out in the world. No cloaks are necessary, and we are both discovering just how much energy is required to keep a veil in place. 

The respite is refreshing. So, I don’t push. Later tonight, while she sleeps, I will need to go deeper into the cave to search for him. However, we will remain where we are and talk for now. 

Unlike before, she begins the conversation. She talks about trivial items, sharing her likes and dislikes, the things she believes about life, anything but what is happening around her. The manic energy returns with her words, but I don’t worry, not yet. This is natural. She chooses inconsequential topics to avoid what she needs to discuss. 

The anxiety comes from the fear of running out of things to say. When she does, she will discuss what matters, and I am in no hurry. It will happen eventually, but not today. Today she will exhaust herself in trivial conversation, and I will listen, talking little and mostly in support of the things she says. More importantly, she will drink while she talks as I occasionally rise to fill the shell. This water is the medicine she so desperately needs. It will begin healing her and protect her from influence. Eventually, she will need to stand against the unwanted influences and cross over to the other side, but this is still days away, and she will be in a different place by then. Today she talks. She empties herself of all of the things she knew. She pours herself into the river and turns to fill her cup again as she drinks from the falls.

This step is the first step toward her healing. It is her path towards realizing who she really is. In the end, she will know she is not the ‘True Amber,’ that the True Amber has crossed safely to the other side. She will understand she no longer needs to stay to protect her family, and she too must cross over so that she can be whole. 

I see the big picture, and I will help her find her way along the path to her peace, but it won’t be today. Today, she will celebrate the feeling of freedom. Her cloak is off and lying to the side. She has dropped her guard and is beginning to trust and to share. Her faith is how we will loosen his hold on her and her hold on this world. Until then, this moment is hers. It is the very least she deserves.

Hours pass, and she speaks through them until the inevitable happens. She runs out of words, and she is suddenly like a child, embarrassed by her ramblings. Before she can think to re-establish her guard, I suggest the waterfall again. It is best if she stays in this childlike vulnerability for as long as possible. It allows me to be the protector and helps her to release the need to be a guardian.

She agrees to the shower as I go into the forest to find food. I know I will see IEO. We will have much to share in preparation for tonight. He will help me to protect myself before going into the caves.