Day 21 – 1:45 a.m.
It is barely day twenty-one, but the mountain calls me. I can feel the pain, the misery, the rejection. I had an event tonight, and I don’t believe I was myself, at least not the entire time. I appeared like myself but was not myself. He came in, and everyone rejected him. In the past, I would have thought they were rejecting me, but I could see it was him. There was nothing he could do. It was fascinating to watch as the shift occurred.
As I return to the story, it is late, but I have made it to the top of the mountain. So, I can see better than I could in the canyon. Crow is not here. I see a cave I sensed would be here, and I know Crow is in there waiting for me to come to him. I have no time for games, so I enter the mouth. I want to get this over with, or do I? I feel myself moving too fast. Going forward too fast is dangerous.
I quickly turn to exit. I want to be outside where I can regain my clarity. I feel an exhale of breath as I leave—like someone tasted me, just before I fled their lips. I must slow down. I must think through every step carefully. I am tired and want to sleep, but this is not a place where I want to make a mistake.
I look around the ridge, almost expecting to see someone, but no one is there. I am not sure what to do, and the world around me is silent. Maybe, I am to spend the night here. It doesn’t seem like a good place to go to sleep, but I don’t think it’s right to move, and I’m so tired. Sitting, I lean my head against a rock. I want to close my eyes, but I will not sleep before the strong guidance from my Spirit Guides tell me it is wise.
I don’t know if I could sleep anyway. It’s cold here. I feel like I may never be warm again. So, I snuggle under my poncho and wait for something to happen.
After a few minutes of sitting, I see a seagull in my head—not a real one, but a statue of one in flight. I don’t have much time to contemplate if the vision I had is real. There is a sound coming from inside the cave. I freeze, attentive to the dark opening.
It takes a few minutes before he starts slinking out. Pain presses against my skull, and the desire to sleep worsens. I struggle to stay conscious. I know it’s him, but I don’t think I can stay awake. I want to wait until tomorrow. I must find a way to protect myself and get some rest. I’m not strong enough to do this tonight.
Against my better judgment, I decide to lie on the ground, along the rock I was using to rest. One of the Spirit Guides, I can’t see which, lies an animal pelt over me, causing me to disappear from view. The thing slithers from the entrance of the cave, looking around. He knows I am here, but he can no longer see, and he can’t smell me.
Fearful of a trap, he goes back to the cave, and he paces. “Did she try to head back down the mountain?” he wonders. Of course, one of his ‘alternate’ paths will lead me back. He has put the pain and fatigue upon me. He uses it as a poison to weaken his prey, and usually, his method works. Anyone who comes to the top of the mountain is too exhausted to sense him, but I am not his prey. I come to the mountain of my own will, and I am not alone.
Closing my eyes now, I sleep. I will remain covered and cloaked through the night and will be upon him suddenly in the morning.