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56_Analysis Notes – Trusting Others, Trusting Self

As our subject approaches the practice of seeking vision, she exposes herself to the deeper realms of her consciousness. In the creative process, this is what we would call her law, the rules that govern her existence. It is the belief system from which her entire experience of life is composed. This is form before it becomes form, what I would call the physical aspect of her source.

When we are young, we have an external source governing our existence. As we grow, that source becomes internal, a voice speaking to us or acting without our knowledge to regulate the same rules of safety we learned in our early development. The guidance of our guardians becomes our inner dialog.

Our subject has spent the last several years challenging those voices, the rules of her upbringing. She now stands on the cusp of the unknown. This time, for her, is about feeling completely vulnerable.

She is opening her mind to what love might mean. She is reaching into a reality that does not contain the limits or rules of her previous existence, and she is stepping into a whole new story. Granted, it is someone else’s story. Still, it is the perfect opportunity for her to gain a fresh perspective, and a fresh perspective is the only real way to challenge confirmation biases.

So, from where does this new story emerge? This is a question that has been studied since humans first began to contemplate their existence. Where does the new thought form? How does it come about?

This is our exploration, and to begin it, we will be observing our subject’s experience of it. Whether it is a commitment we feel in our hearts or our being’s physical expression, as we hold clear our intentions, the subconscious mind responds. From somewhere in the darkness perceived by our conscious mind, a new possibility materializes, one designed by the essence of life itself. It is the place of our bliss, our perfect ‘beingness’ upon this Earth. It is new life unfolding, not just for us but for our species.

This brings to point an interesting question. If the subconscious mind is making decisions for the betterment of the species as a whole, it would stand to reason that it would be linked to the species. How can it know what is best for the species if it does not perceive the species? From this perspective, the superconscious mind may have more connection than just the experiences of individual exposure. We know it has the resources of its ancestry, but its access may extend beyond ancestral lines.

If romantic attractions are driven by mating beyond our ancestral pool, there must be a link, a connection to measure who does and does not comply with those rules. The question is, where does this connection occur. How does one subconscious mind communicate with another? Is our subject interacting with ancient memories stored in her mind, or does her new source go beyond those neurons? If that access does extend, where does it go, and how far?

This is the first step in our new journey. It may be foreign and utterly unclear at this point, but it is the foundation from which everything we do will spring forth. We can not compare or expect or judge this place. Everything we assume or hope to see is information carried over from the knowledge we had before this journey. If we want a new discovery, we must first let loose everything we’ve known before this day. When we do this, it can take a moment for your mind to see the new possibility. If it takes a little time, that’s okay. It will come. We will allow the discovery to reveal itself as it is, not as we wish it to be, but as it is.

In the same way, our subject must trust the process. She must see it is precious and perfect, like the beginning of all life. She must surrender to the beauty of it. Today, she begins a new life, with so many gifts to bring. She has no history or story to reconcile or way to understand where she is. She is the essence of life moving into form, and like any new life, she is beautiful. It is appropriate that she takes this time to sit in her own brilliance.

Take a moment to imagine what it must be like to begin anew, to have no history or definition of your existence. Try imagining yourself as an infant. You don’t necessarily need to be just born, but you should still be entirely dependent upon the people around you. This is not a time where you can stand or even understand a cry is an expression of want. Cries are about a feeling, so is laughter or sleep or anything you experience. You are in the absorptive state of your new life. Everything is new and unknown.

As you become aware of your surroundings, do not worry about the room or the physical aspects of what is around you. You don’t need to see baby things or be in a baby place or even feel entirely like a baby. This experience is about the energy of being reborn and about developing trust in the world as you experience it. It is about your infancy and the experience of growing up to a new potential. Allow yourself to see how it feels to be wholly dependent upon others but so entirely present in the moment you can’t even imagine not having what you need. Be an observer, examining the world around you, coming to know this new feeling of being ‘in the world.’

Allow yourself to enter the innocence of not knowing anything about jobs or rules or even the weather. Perceive this place of no history. You have no past or future to examine. You know where you are now, this moment, and whatever feeling arrives in it.

If you struggle to comprehend it, try writing the alphabet with your least dominant hand or drawing pictures with your eyes closed. Feel the focus, the attention. This is how new life feels, the blank curiosity of trying to comprehend novel information, being unsure of what is next. Observation becomes a necessity. Possible outcomes become so infinite we no longer consider them. Life opens.

This is where our subject is. She has lost the connection to her personal history and opened herself to the possibility of what might be. Many of her behaviors stay the same at this point. She still tries to cling to pleasurable experiences and feels discomfort with any unanswered questions, but she is changed as well.

The door is now open for her to become someone new, but there is vulnerability here. At this moment, she is the newborn child. This is the most vulnerable stage of our development. Here, we will begin to recognize we are not alone, but in that recognition, we must also see the possibility of being alone. If we see our need for others, we can also see that need may not be met.

Our subject reached a point in early development where she realized she was better off alone. Now she has the opportunity to recognize and accept support.

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