The last twenty-four hours have been some of the most powerful of my life. I recently took a class on hallucinogenics. After researching it, I was tempted a few years ago to try DMT. Honestly speaking, the only thing that kept me from following the intuition was violent vomiting. I know anything the body expels is likely a thing that is not good for its long-term survival.
I was torn between the apparent disadvantages, but I saw the advantages as well. Many people—myself included—have found themselves through near-death experiences. There is a thing that happens in the brain when it is about to die. It goes into a kind of hyperdrive, calculating everything it can to survive. The genius of near-death is that the conscious mind has a chance to participate, and people see the thing their life was missing, which transforms them instantly into who they were meant to become. That’s what happened to me. I understood immortality. In a single moment, I saw the direction the human species was heading, and I’ve spent the last forty years trying to bring it into conscious awareness.
But I’m not done. I understand the theory of immortality. I even understand the fundamental principles of establishing it, but I have not mastered it, and I feel I’m running out of time.
It has been too long since I had a breakthrough of the magnitude near-death presents. I’m not complaining. The consistency with which I have received life-altering discoveries is astounding, but I felt I needed something bigger like maybe I needed something beyond my own ability to see. So, I asked my resident genius, my then sixteen-year-old daughter. She answered with a clear, definitive response, “You won’t get anything from the experience that you can’t discover yourself.”
I didn’t realize the utter irony of her statement until last night—
or more accurately, the very early hours of this morning. Her answer was the answer, not to my original question about trying DMT, but to the mystery of life itself.
I’ve had a few movies in my Netflix cue for a while, one of them is Inside Bill’s Brain. The other is The Theory of Everything. Last night, I was compelled to watch the latter. I will need to watch it several more times to fully understand the subtext, the brilliant messages dispersed throughout the film represented by the simple dropping of a pen. I’m not done learning from the film. Still, it awoke in me something profound and familiar.
I couldn’t sleep after, not because I was unsettled, quite the opposite. I was more relaxed than I’ve been in a long time. I couldn’t sleep because my mind was waiting. The next hour became something I’m still learning to process. Where one might call it Divine Intervention, another might look at the brilliant moment of near-death and credit it to the genius of the brain. Whatever it was, I think it saved my life.
My daughter texted me around 2:40 in the morning and asked a question that made me unsure. If it’s not Divine Intervention, how did she know? DNA, maybe? I’m not sure yet. Today is not the day to answer that question. Today I simply figured out how not to die.
I’ve felt myself dying lately. Those who know me well know I’ve been on the winning side of cancer for some time, but the last few months have been difficult. I have felt as though it was gaining ground. Last night I turned a critical corner. I found my path again.
As I watched the struggles of Stephen Hawking and the genius of his journey, I remembered my own. I do not exist to teach what I know. I live to learn more, discover new possibilities, and solve the mystery of human regeneration. I share to say, “Hey! Look what I found.”
I lost my way. I sat repeating myself for years on end, trying to get others to understand my theory. Some did. Some still don’t, but the discovery I teach is not the end for me. It is not all I am meant to know. I’ve been saying it for some time, “my mythology is my thesis.” My life is saved as I continue forward. I exist to learn.
So, things are about to change. The “365 Days to A Better Life” I intended this blog to be, will instead stand forever as the moment I saved my life. I will validate some of the theories I have discovered, and I will explore the things I am yet to see. I will organize and theorize, and I will include you on my journey.
This is to be the most advanced class I will ever teach, the school of my own discovery. Welcome to my journey.